"I LOVE your light saber right there! You look so modest!" and other gems...

As usual, I've been jotting down things that Nuala and Bran (and Maeve, but she'll get her own toddler-talk post, lucky lass) say that I find cute, and after collecting various scraps of paper from around the house, I realized that they go back to FEBRUARY. That's almost a year. Yikes. Anyway. Here you have: More things-they-say-that-their-momma-thinks-are-worth-remembering... Also, they both used to always say "him, her, and them" when they should've used "he, she, and they," but Nuala's over that now. Bran... not yet. (ALSO, I'm not sure what's up with the different fonts, but hey... it's late (as usual) and my caring threshold is crazy low. Or is that my NON-caring threshold? Huh. Well, you know what I mean. P.S. I think I fixed it, but just in case I didn't, I'm leaving allll this in here...)

Bran (on the way back from ski class): If you stand on your toes you will fall down.

Me (thinking this was ski advice imparted to them by their instructor): Oh, did Martin teach you that?
Bran: No! If YOU stand on your toes YOU will fall down because you are huge and your toes are little.

(Thanks, Dude... Feb 2011)

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Me: What’s your baby’s name?
Bran: Too-too!
Me: Oh, like a ballerina’s outfit?
Bran: Um….no... His name is DRAGON LEG!

(Much more manly. Feb 2011)

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Nuala: ...them didn’t even know it was blowed away! But them had faith and builded it again on a rock.
Bran (whispering to me): That is Heavenly Father. (Feb 2011)
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Me: I wish we had a kitty!
Bran: I wish we had a kitty AND a doggy!
Nuala: I wish we had butterflies and a giraffe. (Feb 2011)

Bran: Nuala, why do you always say, “this is not my favorite”?
*conversation about this ensues*
Bran (very patiently): Nuala, you know I love you, I just don’t like you sayin’ that...
Me: Awww, that’s nice.
Bran: And I love YOU, Mommy Ninja. (Feb 2011)
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Nuala: Did you know girls command boys to do everything for them?
Bran: Did you know boys are in charge of our family?
Nuala: Nuh-uh. I’d rather have a nicer brother... like Blake!
Bran: Did you know him is going to hit you with a stick? (Feb 2011)

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Bran: It’s an alien and a heart. It means I love you! (Feb 2011)
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Bran: AaaaAAAAHHHH!
Me: What happened?
Nuala (looking murderously defiant while both of them are in the boat swing): I was nursing Bran's baby and my baby and there was not room for his baby, so I throwed him over!

(I promise, this is not indicative of some repressed traumatic experience from her nursing days! Neither of them were ever tossed over. Even when they were huge and never stopped moving and I felt like I was a sow with piglets vying for the best position. Okay, they were actually rather well-behaved. But still. Feb 2011)

Nuala (very irate): Bran got in the car and did not EVEN TALK to Belinda! (her doll.)
Bran (defensively): I thought her was asleep! (Mar 2011)
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Me: Bran, move your toys!
Bran (highly offended): Them are NOT toys, them are babies! (Mar 2011)
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Me: Oh, Maeve, you got a baby dollie...
Nuala (also highly offended): Her is NOT a doll, her is my REAL baby, like Maeve! (Mar 2011)

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Bran: Mommy, did you know that when Daddy blew up my tires, it went “eek, eek, eek!” like a mouse?!
Me: Cool!
Bran: I want to find out if there is a mouse in there because I want him to be our friend! (Mar 2011)

Bran (excitedly, about a caged bird): Him tweeted at me! I think that means him loves me! (Mar 2011)
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Bran (concerned about eating lamb and wanting to believe the little guy wasn’t dead): I think the baby lamb is still alive. Him just does not have one of his legs... (Mar 2011)
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Nuala (talking about my sister’s family. She was expecting, and has now had, baby #7/boy #5): They have two girls, and a LOTTA boys... (Mar 2011)
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Bran: Brains!
Me: What about them?
Bran: They tell us what to do... mine is telling you to tell scary stories. (Mar 2011)

Nuala: Our ears protect us!
Me: How?
Nuala: They hear if a car or a lion is coming. (Mar 2011)
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Me (mumbling to myself after church while Z was out of town): Who knows if I’ll even get a nap today...?
Bran: Jesus! (Mar 2011)
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Bran: Can we please watch a movie to celebrate Daddy being gone? (Mar 2011)

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Nuala (while talking about making good choices): Satan will get SO angry! Maybe he will stomp his foot!
Bran: I do not like Satan. (Mar 2011)

Nuala: Don’t even TELL me poking me in the eye was the funnest part...
Bran (sincerely): That WAS the funnest part. (Mar 2011)
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Nuala (playing "Hot or Cold"): Cold... cold...COLD... COOOLD!! You’re in... WATER! COLD water!!! (Mar 2011)
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Me: I guess your castle and your house could be for ANY of the baby warriors.
Nuala: Mine will SURELY not! (Mar 2011)
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Nuala: They are called HIGH heels.
Me: Why are they called “high heels”?
Nuala: Because they have “highs”.
Me: What are those?
Nuala (looking at me like I'm a tad slow): The things that make you higher! (Mar 2011)

Nuala: I’m drawing a black turtle...
Me: Oh, it looks a lot like a turtle!
Nuala (exasperated voice): That’s because it IS. (Mar 2011)
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Nuala, to Bran: I’m not mad at you, why should you be mad at ME?! (Mar 2011)
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Nuala: Mommy, know what I will name my real baby when I grow up? Bageea. I will name my boy baby Boogawooga. I hope he is a good baby and will not want to nurse all the time... (Mar 2011)

Bran: Hey, I see the heavens! Actually, I don’t think it is the heavens. It is the mountain with snow. Now I can see the heavens! It looks like a monster puppy dog jumpin’! (Mar 2011)
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Bran: If you see a white kitty with black spots, that is a FIREFIGHTER kitty. (Apr 2011)
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Bran: Daddy! You helped me to remember something from Conference! When the Spirit tells us something, we have to do it!
Me: Why?
Bran: Because otherwise, him will make a lion or a bear come get us. (Apr 2011)
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Bran: Usually I do not cry, but this time I did because you could almost see my bones and my blood. (Apr 2011)

Bran (when we were at the circus): I am sad for the lion. Him looks sad... (Apr 2011)
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Nuala (about our cherry tree): Mommy, look! It’s getting even blossominger! (Apr 2011)
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Bran: Poor chocolate!
Me: Why?
Bran: That it has to be eaten.
Me: Well, don’t eat it...
(later)
Bran: Mommy, did you know that the chocolate animals’ home is in my tummy? So them are going back HOME!

(Suuuure, Bran... whatever helps you sleep at night... ;) Apr 2011

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Me: Bran, how many cashews did you have?
Bran: One! (then very softly) ...again, and again, and again... (Apr 2011)

Bran (about a baby warrior, which is what he calls action figures, etc.): I will bring him to church so him can learn a little bit about Jesus! Actually, him already knows about Jesus because him is a good guy. Him just wants to hear what the prophet says. (Apr 2011)
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Daddy: Maybe if you clean up really well you can have one more Easter egg...
Bran (thinking it over): ...But how ELSE can we have an Easter egg? (Apr 2011)
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Me: Y'all are being big babies!
Nuala (highly offended): We are NOT babies!
Me: No, you're BIG babies!
Nuala: Oh. Yes. We are. (Apr 2011)
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Bran: Did you know Maeve has so long arms, like a monkey?! (Apr 2011)

Me: ...well, kids don’t usually go to war...
Bran: But which ones do? I mean, I know that Peter Pan fights in wars with Captain Hook, but which other ones do? (Apr 2011)
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Bran: Eighty-ten-eleventy-twelve!
Me: That’s SUPER old!
Nuala: Super duper older than Daddy?

(Just baaaarely...) Apr. 2011

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*Okay, this next one was perhaps one of my favorite conversations. Bran was just so super matter-of-fact about it all... like, why bother disputing? She's the cutest. Nuala was defensive because she thought her baby doll was pretty cute, too.

Bran: Our baby is the cutest baby ever. The other mommies that have babies just THINK their baby is the cutest in the whole wide creation. But ours is the cutest!
Nuala: Everyone’s baby is the cutest!
Bran (pointing at Maeve): THAT baby is the cutest.
Nuala: You are saying mean things, and Jesus does not like that!
Bran: I’m not saying mean things, just that our baby is the cutest in the whole wide creation.
Nuala: All babies are the cutest in the whole wide creation, even mine!

*big argument continues...* (Apr 2011)

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Bran: Mommy, did the doctor tell you any stories to make you not panic when you got your blood taken out? (May 2011)

Nuala: Mommy! Do not let Maeve play with matches! Even in a box! I learned that on Seymour's Playhouse. (May 2011)
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Nuala (telling me about a nightmare she had): ...and they were going to shoot my finger!
Me: Why?
Nuala (the "for real?" look again): Because they are BAD guys! (May 2011)
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Nuala: Daddy’s hair is red.
Bran: Nuala, Daddy’s hair is orange!
Nuala: It is REDDY orange. (May 2011)

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Nuala: Bran, put your toothpick in your nose, it’s kind of tickly!

(Great plan, Nuala, great plan... May 2011)

Nuala’s story, May 12, 2011
Once there was a princess who was stuck in a tower, who was Sleeping Beauty. Then the prince climbed up one of the vines and rescued Sleeping Beauty. And they were going to get married. Then he heard a girl named Molly saying, “what a beautiful day it is!” and he walked over to her and said, “what’s your name?” “My name is Molly, what’s your name?” “Prince Charming.” And then he wanted to marry both of them, but he did eenie meenie miney moe and picked Sleeping Beauty. So they went along to the castle and got married and Molly went back to her cottage and layed down on her face and cried. Then she came out and said to him, “I’m never going to live near you again!”
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Bran: Mommy, you don’t often play with my baby warriors!
Me: I do play with them!
Bran: Not with ME...

(Busted! I DO usually wait till he goes to bed and THEN play all night... ;) May 2011
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Bran (admiringly): Nuala, you make one HECK of an Autobot! (June 2011)
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Me: Nobody thinks it’s funny. Nuala, do you think it’s funny?
Nuala: No.
Me: Neither do I.
Bran: ...but if BLAKE were here, HIM would think it was funny... (June 2011)

Me: Where’s a little ball that’s round...?
Bran: ...all balls are round...

(Huh. Actually, the dictionary says a ball is "round or round-ISH." So there! June 2011)

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Nuala: Bran, let’s do that game where we elbow each other!

(Again. GREAT plan. June 2011)

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Bran: Mommy, I don’t want Maeve to be so commanding!
Me: Well, I remember having TWO babies at the same time who were just as commanding as Maeve...
Bran: Well, if her is going to command me, I’m going to command her!

(He quickly discovered that you just cannot command an 18-month old. Aug. 2011)

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Nuala: Are there trees in Japan?
Us: Yes...
Nuala: Do they have shade? (Aug 2011)
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Nuala (about my BYU running cap): When you’re an old grandma and that does not fit you anymore and you are dead, can I have it?
Me: ...sure, honey...

(All of the above, or would just one of those options work...? Sep 2011)

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Bran: Nuala! I LOVE your light saber right there! You look so modest! (Sep 2011)
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Bran (while playing in our boat swing with a friend): Cort, if you are worried about how high it is, just say a prayer or put out the anchor! (Sep 2011)
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Nuala: Bran cutted some of my hair off!
Me: Where did you cut it? How much?
Bran: Well, it was only OLD hair... (Sep 2011)