Tuesday, February 21, 2012

the "worst day ever!"

Saturday was officially declared by Nuala to be "the worst day EVER!" (And add about 27 exclamation marks to that...) Because watching loads of cartoons (it was a Saturday, after all), going swimming, and then spending the afternoon at a friend's super duper fun birthday party really makes for a horrible day. Wanna know the secret to ruining such an obviously awesome day? Read on... (and I'm sorry. You know, for encouraging you to read on...)
The Saturday bath started out much as any other... The three rascals, crammed in the master bath tub. (Note: the pictures in this post are NOT from the actual incident. Thankfully. I did almost take a picture. An "after" picture. Eww. Then I remembered that Z had taken the little camera with him to Switzerland, and I didn't want to go digging up the big one. Good for everyone.)
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Actually, let me back up. Maeve was the first one in the tub. As she sat in the 2 inches of water, she looked down, like she was quite interested in something going on under there. She was peeing. I mean, I tell them all to pee before they get in, but Maeve is not known for peeing on demand. I said, "Oh, are you peeing?" right as Nuala came to jump in. She stopped dead in her tracks, one leg thrown over the side. "Did she PEE in the tub? Because I am NOT getting in if there is pee in there!" I downplayed it, because I wasn't 100% sure she did, actually, pee. Only 99.99997% sure. "Oh, Nuala! (nonchalant laugh) I'm sure she didn't! I told her to pee before she took off her diaper!" Nuala bought it, and hopped in.
Then she told me all about how when we were visiting Cousin Brigit ("but not in the house they have the castle in. In their other house"), Brigie told Nuala about how Colin POOPED in the tub (sorry to out you, Colin. This was a long time ago. He was very little.) and that it was soooo gross, etc., etc. I then proceeded to curse us by saying, "we've never had anyone poop in the tub! Well, maybe you or Bran once when you were very little, but I can't really remember..."
(Maeve likes to help dunk. She does NOT like receiving help herself.)

So, I washed all three little noggins, scrubbed little oxters and toes, and then left them in a bubbly paradise to go check my email. (Maeve is fine in there with N&B. And I can hear them. Always. They are not quiet bathers. If I can't hear her every 2-3 seconds, I yell, "is Maeve okay?!" Just a safety disclaimer.) About 15 seconds later, what do I hear but Nuala, screaming bloody murder. "SOMEONE POOPED IN THE TUB!!! SOMEONE POOPED IN THE TUB!!!" I have to pause here. I'm already laughing again............ Ohhhhhhh-kay. I raced back down, and ya know... she was right! Someone DID poop in the tub! I'll also note here that Bran was slightly offended later when I asked Nuala, "why did you say 'SOMEONE'? Didn't you know it was Maeve?" Nuala replied that NO, she wasn't positive it was Maeve. It could have been Bran. "It would NOT be me!" he said, quite indignantly. Poor kid.
Anyway... WOW. It wasn't just a nugget, or a little log (I know. I'm sorry that I had to write that), it was exploda-poo and it was floating/sinking everywhere. I couldn't stop laughing, because poor Nuala was so, so, so, soooo frantic. In fact, she pretty much couldn't function. But frantically. She was just curled in a little ball in the corner (well, as much of a corner as a round tub can have), shaking and shrieking, as it floated all around her, like little menacing jellyfish. I was cracking up, while trying not to. The poor girl was paralyzed by the poo. I tried to get her to stand up, but she refused to move in case it touched her (more).
Nuala's reaction totally freaked out Maeve, who also panicked, but instead of freezing in place she tried to launch herself, screaming, out of the tub, with many a little poo particle clinging desperately to her. Bran? Well, he just pulled his goggles down, said, "I'm gonna check this out!" and dunked under the sewage... er, water. "Yep, it's poop!" he popped up to report. Always good to get an expert opinion. Anyway, long story short (no? you're right. It was still long), they survived. I'm fairly certain that Nuala has been traumatized for life and may now be planted firmly in the shower camp, as she's been testing the waters, so to speak, with that lately.
Since I'm sure you want some more closure, I'll tell you that I did fish a couple of larger chunks out to flush, but the majority was of the flake variety, so down the drain it went. The kids I showered off. I did forget to rinse Bran's hair. I forgot he went under to check things out. He seemed to smell fine for church the next morning, though. I could not be ONE BIT annoyed at the poo incident. It was the funniest thing ever, thanks to Nuala. In fact, instead of wishing Z had been here to help take care of it all, I felt sorry for him for missing out on one of the funniest Nuala moments ever. The night she was attacked by poo will forever live on in my memory... maybe not hers. I'm sure she'll be blocking this one out.
So, there you have it. The WORST DAY EVER. How could something so cute be the cause of THAT?

10 comments:

Tara Milligan said...

Oh. my. We are both here dying of laughter. That is hilarious! Poor Nuala. I was cracking up when you asked her why she said someone pooped instead of knowing it was Maeve! Poor Bran, I would be quite indignant, too. Thanks so much for sharing, that was so awesome.

Andrew said...

Rofl Oh man if it wasnt painful to laugh at this point I would seriously be crying right now....You just cant be a parent without a poo-in-the-tub story I think I have a few of them at this point!!

Megan and Greg said...

Oh my gosh. That might be the funniest thing I've ever read. Thanks for sharing! What a great tale!

David said...

That was hilarious! ... maybe it's just as well Z wasn't there, as that'd have given you the chance to take pics to post :) Poor N ... and poor M ... but it didn't seem too traumatic for B, who took it upon himself to verify the problem. Dad & I had a good laugh ... love you all, Mom (Dad too) xox

katharine said...

oh dear, that brings back some memories. we've had a few 'worst days ever' with our wee ones. glad you didn't let it ruin your day.

Rob and Erin Smith said...

Nice! My favorite part is that Bran went down to check it out!! That's awesome. Poor cute little Maeve, well, Nuala really, but I can imagine the franticness involved, hee hee. Gotta love it.

Aislinn said...

Bahahaha! Okay, I had to pause a couple of times to wipe the tears from my eyes, I was laughing so hard. Ciaran was watching a Santa Claus show and he kept turning around and saying, "Is this really funny, Mommy?" LOL Poor Nuala! Maeve doesn't look in the least like she could have caused such uproar, LOL. Bran diving down to check out the damage made me double over...both in laughter and gagging, LOL. You write so well...this was hilarious to read.

Aislinn said...

So...I'm back 'cause I had to read it again. This has provided quite the amusement here tonight and I have to tell you that Rowan was offended FOR Bran even before I got to the part when Bran defended himself. As soon as he heard that Nuala said she wasn't sure it was Maeve and that it could have been Bran, Rowan bristled up and huffed, "It could NOT be Bran. Bran would NOT do that! He's a big boy, not a baby!" So...Rowan is in Bran's corner, LOL.

Kristina Powell said...

SO FUNNY! I love that you share real life when you write. That makes it classic and we can relate (although we haven't had the poo/tub moment - man, I hope I haven't set us up!) We were laughing so hard we were crying. You guys are awesome!

Grandma said...

What can I say that hasn't been said? I am still rolling on the floor laughing. Poor Nuala she will always remember the time Mauve pooed in the tub. I can still remember my sister and her log that floated by us in the tub. I can still see Zac exiting the tub as fast as he could when Sari pooed in the tub. But Nuala has them all beat. LOL LOL